That thing I just said about these macaroons isn’t true. Or is it? Make these and they’ll make you…a believer. Super quick, extra easy! Preheat your oven to 350F/178C, and get moving. You’ll be eating these soon. You’ll need:

3 cups of UNSWEETENED medium shredded coconut

3/4 cup flour

1 cup of natural cane sugar.
(for this recipe, I use dehydrated natural cane juice coarse granules found in the indian food aisles and markets that is usually quite cheap!)

1/2 cup of vanilla or original Almond Milk
2 tbsp brown rice syrup

2 tbsp melted Earth Balance spread
*or substitute  the same amount of solid coconut cream or oil

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp salt

Combine wet ingredients, sugar and salt. Stir in the coconut, and let it sit for 10 minutes. Slowly stir in the flour until a thick and well mixed dough forms. To ensure it blends well, use a large spatula, wood spoon or good ol’ your hands.
On a greased or parchment lined cookie sheet, pile the dough in a tapered shape with a diameter just over an inch by about an inch and a half or so tall.  Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until lightly browned on the top and edges. This recipe makes about two dozen, so feel free to octuple it. Let cool and devour.

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!

SHARK FIN CAMPAIGN, VANCOUVER ANIMAL DEFENSE LEAGUE. This year, a tireless and thorough effort was made by VADL to eradicate shark fin products by getting it banned at the municipal level, all throughout the lower mainland. So much noise and fervour was made by animal rights CHAMPION Marley Daviduk and the VADL that it only served to Make Richmond MP Alice Wong look super ridiculous when she decided to eat shark fin soup at a chinese media-only public event organized secretly by her staff in Richmond, that addressed only chinese constituents. At the beginning of December, VADL upped the ante when tests of Shark Fin from a restaurant that serves it locally were found to be endangered or protected species in over three quarters of the samples. Aside from the obvious implications of this, the cruelty that these animals are subjected to is horrifying. Live-caught sharks have their dorsal fins sliced off, and are dumped dying back into the sea to succumb slowly on the ocean floor. In 2013, Richmond will still have to address their municipality and vote on a ban of this brutal “delicacy.” This article is just a tiny tidbit of the MASSIVE MOUNTAIN OF PRESS that the VADL got on this issue. The article is filled with other links so you can get every dimension of the story. 

 http://www.richmondreview.com/news/185313341.html

ASSORTED HITS: 

1. I’m going to call the Kony 2012 video a hit, because it perfectly and tragically sums up how an internet “sensation” can be so intense and so damaging, all at once. The creator of the campaign used video to a highly effective (but not all together true) degree and created a HUGE sensation. However, creating something that big and intense invited an equal amount of scrutiny. Sadly, Jason Russell suffered a mental health break and the movement abruptly halted under leaderless direction, and the realization that simply posting a video doesn’t have the weight and gravity of grassroots protest with physical acts of defiance and civil disobedience. Is Kony actually even alive? What was this video for? Is it a scam to generate money? The “HIT” part of this is actually the clear demonstration of the internet’s power and it’s even greater weakness: being unable to consistently transmute sentiment into action.
2. Milos Roanic. This Canadian rising tennis star pushed Roger Federer to three sets at the Indian Wells Classic before losing a close one, and continues to win at the professional level against fearsome and tricky opponents. He’s also a canadian tennis star who doesn’t immediately defect to another country. His play is sometimes inconsistent and spotty, but his serve and his double grip backhand return are fearsome. Watch what he does in 2013.
3. Christine Sinclair: her gutsy, record breaking performance on the field and her pointed but composed remarks at the London Summer Olympic Games was inspiring to women and men alike. When a STUPID call in the semi finals essentially cost the women’s team the game, she responded honestly and correctly that the game had been taken from them, and the the call was a disappointment. This resulted in her being penalized with a 4 game suspension from the world body that has awarded her athlete of the year honours SIX TIMES for speaking the TRUTH about the referee that decided her and team Canada’s fate. Christine Sinclair is a HUGE HIT for speaking the truth, accepting the suspension, and refusing to take back her comments for the sake of appeasing the catankerous world body. More: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/soccer/fifa-hands-soccer-captain-christine-sinclair-four-game-suspension/article4609745/
4. THIS MOMENT FROM THE U.S. PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION: http://www.romneytaxplan.com/ a brilliant use of media for satire and getting a point across. Sadly, the ENTIRE rest of the election proceedings will find its way into the “SHIT” list later on.

AND ALL OF THESE ASSORTED HITS: Stephen Colbert’s SuperPac series, Fox news having Bill CLinton hand them their ass with a big ol’ smile on his face, The Purple Squirrel/Halloween Goblin Squirrel, Felix Baumgartner’s leap from the edge of space, Season to Attack’s Fibres EP (sorry, I know) Take the Earth Beneath Us, Nice Guys of OKCupid, Worldwide decrease of duck face, Jersey Shore cancellation, Breaking Amish, Dwell Magazine, NewScientist, Drive (the movie) Tattoo Union (Jeremy Riley fixed my fingers and is a damn talented fellow. In the Lee Building at Main and Broadway.) 3G Veggie Restaurant, Vegan Pizza House, Chau Noodle House, Fairy Cakes, Edible Flours.Huge shout out to Axum Ethiopian Restaurant for BEING SO GAWD DAMN DELICIOUS.

..shit… shit… shit…

WINNERS, and others, “FAUX” FUR: In 2012 the VADL also brought to light that again Winners was selling  “faux” fur that was still actually made from a REAL animal, most likely the Raccoon Dog, even though they claimed they weren’t.  Some of these pieces were also labelled “raccoon,” which is almost certainly not true. Fur trim is often harvested from LIVE animals. These sad creatures are kept in filth, treated poorly, and serves to highlight one of the many repugnant practices that dot the landscape of fashion with immorality and cruelty. If you MUST wear something that resembles fur, it must say “synthetic” or “man made polyester/acrylic trim.” Personally, it is even better in my opinion to not even glorify the look of fur and refuse to wear anything at all that bears a resemblance. When in doubt, do without. I’m also officially calling out Gaga and her fans to let animals be themselves  (alive) since they were BORN THAT WAY. Lady Gaga wears tons of cruelty. Beyonce- you too. Want to see what Fur and Fur Trim is really about? Go here and decide if you’d ever like to wear it. I know I am on about animals a fair amount, but seriously…why is this okay with so many?

Miscellaneous SHITS: The Entire US Prez Election for it’s attack on each and every thing EVER. Ben Mulroney’s accent when anything even vaguely french is needing to be said. Ok, I get it, you’re bilingual. Snookie procreating. Kim and Kanye procreating.

Joe Simpson gay scandal. Not because he’s gay, but because of how it all unfolded. Shame. Treat your family better. American Idol. The Summer Olympics in London still obviously catering to the wealthy, the sponsors hawking unhealthy garbage that undermines the integrity and discipline to compete , empty seats, and stupid mascots all on the backs of the poor and passionate amateur athlete who ends up with no choice but to endure this assault on their efforts. Stephen Harper’s stance on First Nation rights, Environmental practices, and the wealthy white echelon. 

Enbridge BC Pipeline and its continuous insult to our collective intelligence. 

PETA’s 94% and higher kill practice at its own shelters. Help animals. Drop the sensationalism and radical “mercy killing” practices. You aren’t my voice. I wish to see animals alive and free, no matter what their previous circumstances are. If you preach that we don’t have a right to end animal life and enslave them, then neither should you.

 Creed, Limp Bizkit and Puddle of Mudd attempting comebacks. The new record.  

3 Jewels restaurant- I reluctantly add for serving milk powder to vegans even though we’ve all repeatedly asked to not have it. I will return at some point, but it really angered me. Don’t say your restaurant is vegan. It’s misleading.

Paanz Restaurant for their small portions, poor service, and refusal to address or even acknowledge a respectfully worded customer complaint.

 Daily newspapers like Metro and 24 that generate waste and are never edited properly for spelling, grammar or even journalistic ethics. Rihanna. You are a successful and beautiful woman. By refusing to denounce Chris Brown and the terror he inflicted on you and subsequently taking him back, you presented a hypocritical view of what you seem to stand for. Every woman who endures anything like this- kick that stupid ass from your life, and never allow him or her power over you again. Rihanna, I hope it doesn’t have to get worse for you to get better. 

Well, that’s it for now. I may post some of the stuff that didn’t quite make it later on. What was you worst and best moments in media, practice, or experience in 2012? What did I miss? What do you agree or disagree with? Did you read all the way to here? You need a hobby. Unless your hobby is reading what I write, in which case, weird, but do it up! 

To my family, friends, bandmates, and loved ones who helped make my year accomplished and exciting, I thank you so much. To those that made it more challenging, I thank you very much as well, since I once again didn’t die from it and will become stronger! 

Closing the book on 2012,

David Isbister.

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!

FOOD and FRIENDS. The many new friends I met this year and learned the stories of, particularly at the Secret Suppers I hosted, as well as those I got to know better just from tossing them a little food! I was MEGA FUN to feed you all, and hear your passions. Landon showed up to almost every one and ate like a boss, and since he already had fabulous taste, he enjoys a few more veg/vegan establishments now. Jamie Ruschienski is a dude I already knew from his work with his twin brother on cancer fundraising, and I loved getting to know him and the group of friends better. Glenn and Joanne came and enjoyed food while I secretly wished I could scurry away and raid their store Nice Shoes for some fine-ass footwear. There are so many to mention, but I enjoyed getting to know Carmen, Susan, Cathryn, Tim, Kim, Darren, Jordan, Lou, and many many more, as well as reconnecting and deepening connections with Andy, my landlords Shaun and Lisa, my neighbours (Riley and Corvis families especially) and my band mate and friend Alan Calimbas. I look forward to feeding you and playing for you all in 2013.  

..shit… shit… shit…

CONTINUED, CASUAL USE OF HATE SPEECH. So many people say they are angered by political correctness, and they don’t feel its relevance. Many others loosely toss condemning and words steeped in origins of hatred. To those who doubt a positive effect of respectful language, I ask you to imagine formulating your ideas without the use of marginalizing words. Your argument becomes better, more resolute and necessitates actually thinking it through with more confidence before conveying it. 

There are three main words and one practice that I do not love from people, listed below. These aren’t new just in 2012, I just saw tons of it and heard lots of it, and it sucks. Let’s stop it. I’ll even give some new words to replace these outdated terms, or feel free to tell me yours!

1. Referring to a negative situation or someone’s negative behaviour as “Gay.” Since we are all just humans, looking for progress toward our goals of becoming our natural self, negatively stereotyping someone or something as “gay” is offensive to those of us who have a gay relative who has struggled, those of us who identify as queer, homosexual, (or really anyone in the lgbt community, of which there are MANY) and should be offensive to the rest of any of us that have had any personal struggle at all. All hardship is the same, no matter who is enduring it. To negatively infuse sexuality into an opinion on an everyday practice or inanimate object should be seen as an affront that unfairly portrays certain expressions of love and sexuality as inferior, in my opinion. Try using actual negatives like “lame,” “stupid,” or calling the behaviour exactly what it is: “When he dances, he looks very free and flamboyant!” Or - “When this guy working in my department goes around me to the other manager to complain, I get super pissed. He is so passive aggressive!” That’s just stating an opinion. When you do this in a way that is conscientious, people must address your issue and not your lame, silly way of stating your disapproval. 

1. Negatively referring to Males with “female” terminology, referring to cowardly or weak behaviour as “bitch,” “pussy,” or “girly. ” This one especially bugs me, because I have a mother, a step mother, a sister, and a whole family of female relatives who have endured many physical and emotional struggles, and I don’t think any of them are weak. I don’t think their having a vagina or even just identifying as a woman makes them inferior, and I don’t think that of any other women either. To say that a male is a “pussy” because he is less a gender stereotype than he should be, or to dismiss or diminish someone’s efforts with marginalizing terms of gender is essentially saying, “When you do something that offends my narrow view of gender and sexuality, I will reveal even further that my wordview is antiquated and resonates with misogyny.” Alternatives to this usage is easy. Same as number one. Just state what you feel and how you percieve the person’s behaviour: “When Manny wouldn’t take the tackle and instead went down easy, I felt like he wasn’t willing to make a sacrifice for the team. I play hard and believe in us, and believe that it takes a sacrifice to be an effective competitor. I think we should say this to him straight up.” Or: “Dude, quit being a jerk. You’ve been nagging me about something I can’t do anything about.” 
2. Referring to daft or disagreeable behaviour or any individual as “retarded.” In my job as a Support Worker, I am happy to hear that the community all around support and the individual have stopped using that word except when clinically describing clinical aspects of mental retardation without the client present. But I still hear tons of upsetting usage of this word. I could tell you all about experiences I have had with my own clients and how language can affect them, but I will instead urge you to read THIS open letter from an amazing man with Down’s Syndrome to SUPERASSHOLE Ann Coulter after she described President Obama as a “retard” after Romney beat him in the first debate. Please read it. Ms. Coulter gets owned. 
3. SLUT SHAMING: Honestly, friends, who cares. I’ve had sexual partners. Likely you have as well. If a lady has a healthy sexuality, or is downright horny, can you tell me how this differs from you? Have you never had desire, or felt physical urges? Maybe YOU’RE the weirdo. People go out, meet, and they have sex. You’ve tried to, or have, or will. Almost all of you. So shut up. Who cares. People not “giving any fucks” because Amanda Todd had been sexually active, people judging women interested in sexuality as sluts, painting queer/bisexual/pansexual women as “chicks who’d fuck anything,” - it’s all so wooden, and old. We are sexual beings. Some of us more than others. Stop being jealous and go responsibly get yours, or whatever you want. AND. I have no alternative language suggestions here. Stop commenting on it or even making it a thing unless you are willing to have your sexual ethics examined as well. Who even cares what anybody does with their genitals anyway. None of your business. READ A POETIC RANT ABOUT IT INSTEAD.

Tomorrow, the largest chunk with all sorts of miscellany. It will be heavy at the beginning, light as all get up toward the end. Today is just to remind us all to stop trolling and start living in the real world. Inject kindness!

David

Pictured here: Olive tapenade, Creamy Cauliflower, Spinach and Mozza Dip, and fiery sweet enhancing sauce. See previous recipe for olive tapenade. Served with dehydrated smoked carrot crackers, blue and red corn tortilla chips, and raw kohlrabi triangles.

Creamy Cauliflower Spinach and Mozza Dip:

(serves 4-6)

You’ll need:

2 tbsp olive oil

1 Medium white or yellow onion, diced small

2 large cloves of finely grated garlic

1/4 cup each of fresh basil and dill, minced

1 tbsp of fresh rosemary

1/2 tsp celery seed

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp sage

fresh cracked pepper to taste

1 tbsp tamari

1 tsp lemon zest, lemon juice set aside.

2 tbsp tahini

1.5 - 2 cups frozen or lightly steamed spinach

Head of Cauliflower, boiled and mashed

8 ounces of Daiya mozzarella style cheese (1 bag)

1/2 cup original veganaise

1/4 - 1/2 cup of coconut or cashew cream

salt to taste, if necessary

SO. Take the oil, and start a medium sauce pan on medium heat. Saute the onions with the celery seed until soft on the edges and nearly clear right through the center. Once nearing fully cooked, add the garlic, herbs, and dry spices. Don’t cry, pansies, it’s just some onions. Once the onions saute together with the spices and thicken, add the lemon juice, tamari, and spinach. This is going to already taste like the tip of the sweetest dong you ever…sampled? - but! There’s a bit more to do to coax the flavour further out of this raging dip dong. Wow, I am really running on that premise there.

 On low heat, stir in the mayo and cheese until the cheese melts and everything blends together nicely. Add coconut or cashew cream to deepen the creaminess and salt to taste until it looks like a good dip-like consistency, like a thick pea soup. I don’t know what viscosity you like your dip, ok? Just figure it out, clown puncher. Serve warm with tortilla chips or in a sourdough bowl. Or nude, freshly waxed abdomen. However you like it.  NEXT!

Sweet and Fiery Like a Total Hottie Sauce

serves 4-6 

Mix together the following:

1 ounce chilli paste, or even a commercial hot sauce

3 ounces agave nectar

1/2 inch of fresh grated ginger

pinch of chilli flakes

1tbsp of grated carrot

1 small clove of garlic, minced

pinch of orange or grapefruit zest

1 tsp black sesame seeds

salt/pepper to taste

Tell everyone to use this super sparingly- as this is just to accent the flavours and add pleasant and tasty heat, just like I get from your momma who is so fine. Just mix it together and serve in a small dish.

Naughty and Vanilla Berry Parfait *RAW*

Naughty and Vanilla Berry Buckwheat Groat Parfait *RAW*

This is a relatively common raw recipe, but my twist is the tasty dried fruit whip/paste and flavour alterations. Please enjoy this healthy treat on your next brunch OR I WILL SHOW UP THERE AND ELECTROCUTE YOUR NIPPLES, SLAVE.  Oops, wrong book. You’d think I’d just delete that.

You’ll need:

1 cup whole Buckwheat Groats, soaked for at least 4 hours

2 cups whole RAW Almonds, soaked overnight

1/2 cup each of dried apricots, dates, and golden raisins (Soaked for a few minutes in warm water to soften them)

2 cups of chopped and stemmed Strawberries

1 chopped banana, or any other fruit you enjoy

1 lemon

agave nectar or maple syrup

whole ground vanilla, nutmeg, and cinnamon

sea salt

1/2 cup water

Olive oil

Ok, first, you gotta make some almond yogurt type stuff. Take the two cups of almonds soaked overnight and drained, and put them in a food processor with the juice of one lemon. (For whiter, smoother, and creamier results, peel the almonds as you scream and cry tears of blood as you tear out your hair.) Process into paste or small meal. Add three to six soaked dates, (the kind from trees, not people you are trying to bang) drizzle of oil and a pinch of salt, and continue to process while adding a slow stream of COLD water until the mixture is similar to yogurt in consistency. You can add agave nectar, and vanilla to sweeten and flavour it. This alone can be used in a variety of ways or enjoyed alone with fruit. Clean out your food processor or blender and set this aside. That’s one layer.

Next, combine the dried apricots, dates, and golden raisins in the food processor with maple or agave, and spices to taste, and blend into a paste. Some people enjoy adding lemon zest and grated ginger as well, but mostly just losers. Just kidding. I was just being a sourpuss. I’ll fix that with some almond yogurt. Anyway, put this mixture into another vessel suitable for storing it temporarily. I like an antique bedpan. That’s two layers ready to go.

Lastly, depending on taste, roughly chop the strawberries and banana ( or other fruit of your choosing, rogue) as their own layer, pulse in the food processor to mince, or straight up puree it, depending on your taste.

TEAM PARFAIT ASSEMBLE!!!!!!

In a glass, or champagne flute for you fancy panties, add layers gradually to make a delightful layered dessert. I start with buckwheat groats and the chopped fruit, then the yogurt, then the apricot/date paste, and repeat. If you puree your fruit, you may need to thicken it with chia or flax meal so the heavier ingredients don’t sink through. Look at the picture and do it like that - ish. Easy as pie, if pie wasn’t cooked, and assembled in layers.

From your friendly non-evangelical yet still somewhat militantly vegan singing friend,
David, vox,

Season To Attack. 

This is a fun and easy raw recipe that is CRAZY HEALTHY and TASTES AWESOME that I just made with mind-hurting detail this past weekend, so here it is:

You’ll Need:

1Medium/Large Butternut Squash, rind and seeds removed.

(enough for 2 cups of raw, rough chopped squash.)

1/4 to 1/2 cup of tahini or raw sesame seeds, depending on taste

Juice of 1 Lemon

2-3 Tbsp of Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1 large clove of Garlic

2 Tbsp chopped Red Onion

1 tsp ground Cumin

1 tsp Sea Salt

set aside:

1/4 cup of fresh, finely chopped Parsley

1 Tbsp Olive Oil

Paprika

other ingredients:

Half a head of fresh Purple Cabbage, cut into triangles. 

*See alternate flavours and ways to jive this mutha up at the end of the recipe.*

First, lightly pulse the rough chopped squash and garlic in a food processor or a blender until it is all a uniform size, in bits approximately the size of rice. Add all other ingredients (except for the ones you set aside, Spanky…)and process until it is a smooth and creamy mixture. If you are using raw whole sesame, you must process it into a flour using a coffee grinder or food processor. Gradually drizzle a bit of olive oil in as it’s stirred to make a thick paste, and add that to the processed squash. Do your best to not rub this all over your tits, even though it will be tempting.

When this shat get it’s dip on after some blending, stir in the parsley and spoon it into a bowl. Drizzle the olive oil over the hummus, and sprinkle with paprika. Set this bowl in the centre of a plate and arrange the Cabbage “chips” around it and serve. Get ready to punch the first dick who proclaims that these aren’t actually chips, and enjoy!

This a great tasting dip all around, but feel free to add other delicious flavours, pureed or chopped fine and stirred in. Some good ideas: Olive Tapenade (recipe coming soon), saked and pureed Sundried Tomatoes, Marinated Artichokes, Red Bell Pepper, Pureed Pine Nuts, Rosemary, Pureed Chipotle, Liquid Smoke, or anything else you can think of. Except kerosene. I wouldn’t add kerosene. Or Cat hair. Maybe just stick to those ideas I already said maybe.