Season to Attack

Fruit and Greens Salad: a nutritionally dense and delicious arrangement of lovely things that should taste way worse but doesn’t.

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:56:59 -0400

Fruit and Greens Salad:

a nutritionally dense and delicious arrangement of lovely things that should taste way worse but doesn’t.

1 each chopped apple, pear, orange, and ripe mango

1 cup each of chopped honeydew

1/2 cup each of pineapple and green grapes

1 chopped banana

half a head of lacinato kale, cut into thin shreds - *see prep notes*

1/2 cup of thinly shredded rainbow chard

1/2 cup of sprouted quinoa (optional, but delicious!)

1/4 cup dry medium coconut shreds

1/8 cup each of sunflower, pumpkin, and hemp seeds

agave nectar

tsp of fresh, finely grated ginger

black sesame

pinch of cloves

pinch of cardomam

to make the kale so lovely- “wilt” it. Toss the kale leaves (no stems!) in a tbsp of lemon juice and a drizzle of agave nectar, and let it sit while you chop up the rest of the ingredients. When it is uniformly a deeper green, add it to the ingredients as listed above, and finish with a sprinkle of black sesame. Makes at least 8 generous servings.

My Body Modification: It isn't for your benefit anyway. A controlled rant by David Isbister.

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 16:23:50 -0500

Recently, I have been getting online “feedback,” let’s call it- about my modifications. In person, I have heard it roundabout ways such as, “Oh wow, it turns out you are actually a nice guy. I thought maybe you were just a crazy freaky type,” or things of that nature. I am writing this note to address the series of stupid, judgemental things that some people think it’s cool to say, that I have ALWAYS heard about many groups- races, genders, lifestyle types. At the very core of this is me not really giving a shit about what some random douche commenting on a Corey Hart cover I did a few years back with a whole other band, but rather - my experience with how we are so open, connected and liberated- but more empowered to be crass, elitist, and judgemental. People who live on the internet as an aggressive troll can all go poop in their own mouths and eyes and all over their hands so it makes more sense that all they spew is troll feces and shit mouth.

First and foremost, shut up about when I am 80. When I am 80, it’s asserted constantly that I will have the balance of my life to regret and admonish myself for the terrible choice I have made to modify. By then, I will have scraped the depths of my soul, lived through countless struggle and hardship, will be trying to keep my wits about me, and likely will be struggling with health iussues to some degree. Society will likely ignore me for the most part anyway, if current youth and celebrity worship ardour remains as gross and intense. My stretched ears or scalpelled labret will be only a small part of that LONG story, and I doubt that something I have been tending to and dedicated to since I was 16 will fade so easily with one big epiphany. If this illogically occurring epiphany happens while I STILL have the faculties of mind and health, then I will stop, and address that then. See, like other people, I have resolved to live with my choices and address my errors with what I have at the time, and with the time I have left. To lament what I did in my past for a reason other than to progress forward would be far more stupid then just getting a tattoo anyway. Even still, if I can get a boner, not break my hip, avoid self-soiling, and still flirt with some fly gals at the nursing home, I probably won’t care that there is a hole in my face or some blurry ink on my neck. Oh, and probably a whole bunch of my old-ass homies will look some degree of modified as well. Hopefully those who issued former predjudices that didn’t modify (which is totally fine, it isn’t up to me) will have had their lifetime to reassess their position and we can all live in harmony. But right now, at a vibrant and young 32, I am looking just toward getting there in FIFTY YEARS.

Did you get that? My perspective is MINE, it’s not yours. It doesn’t have to match, even part way- to be valid. I know about dedication and discipline in many forms, and Modification is one of them. I promise, my choices on this were and continue to be from a rigid thought process about how I wish to appear and how I am to be perceived. YOU may think that I am bereft of morality or logic, but I’d say that trolling against some random guy trying to make a living and help some people out is far more suspect than that same stranger’s personal style or choices with the body they are the sole owner of.

I own my body. It was the one I was born with, and my parents and I grew it. I put it through hell early on with injuries, binges, an eating disorder, and have had it struggle to oppress me through a severe case of a chronic rheumatoid condition called Ankylosing Spondylitis. WIth my own strength, I shit kicked those things, learned, adapted, attempted to locate and inspire others, and I am proud of that. The art and modifications I wear are FOR ME, and are a celebration of a humble triumph. It’s a “humble” triumph because it leaves room for more of that pain and hardship, and helps me to accept the future, because I have accepted the past. It is me claiming ownership of those stories and events and immortalizing them. I am aware that everyone does this differently, this is how I do it. FOR ME. SINCE IT’S MINE, AND I OWN IT.

“Well, (stretched ears and body mods, tattoos) that isn’t new. It’s not like you thought of it.”

Well guess what, Spanky? Neither is your interpretation of what “normal” should look like. I could argue that my “normal” originated far earlier than yours, has been maintained as a tradition on nearly all continents, old world and new, for a few thousand years longer. It doesn’t mean my choice will be right for you but it certainly doesn’t mean yours is correct for me either. I never claimed to invent these modifications. I was just walking around and then that was said to me.

Like many people with modifications OR NOT, I am not afraid of displaying what I feel, who I am, and I am most certainly not afraid of the perception of my appearance, because I have pride in who I am and what I do. I expect that someone who tries to dig deeper than something relatively superficial (except to me) that I display will realize that like all these other people- I am just another person. Many times my modifications have been a benefit to me, allowing me to easily identify who is judgemental and intolerant- because rarely does that attitude stop at prejudice against appearence. It’s often a pathology in my view, and being willing to say it before you know the person again only serves to make you look stupid, unyielding, and petty.

“Why would you even do that to yourself. That’s fucked up.”

Why WOULDN’T you do that? You look lame and boring and I immediately don’t like you. Since you can’t fathom my logic, why should I condescend to understand yours? Wait- I should probably just be quiet until I realize if you are more than just a set of khakis and an ill fitting Le Chateau dress shirt. Because on a day when you knew in your heart and with every fibre of your being that you are more than just a set of khakis and an ill fitting Le Chateau dress shirt, I am going to reduce you to what I initially see- a total loser douchebag who can’t dress themselves. Or wait….is that kind, and open? Are you more than just a nuance to what you display? You are? Weird. Because I am as well.

My body is the only thing I own. I have treated it poorly here and there in the past, but overall, I have honoured its willingness to carry me all around to the places I am me at. Like lots of things we all own, we customize so that the surroundings feel like us. So it feels familiar, inspiring, and reflects our perspective. If you can discount an effort like mine or anyone else’s in any other realm with one wave of your most dismissive hand, then I would bet on you needing more of those lessons themselves.

Yes, people make stupid decisions with Modification. I have seen some stuff that I have troubles not being crass about. But people make other brutal mistakes with stuff you can’t see- reliability, honesty, work ethic, relationship history, substances, and so on. Aren’t those factors more important? Isn’t someone’s worth and morality more than the sum of their physical appearance? We say it’s true, but if you are a woman, man, older, younger, bigger, smaller, - whatever- someone is lurking to emit an unwanted judgement about you.

“I’d hate to [be] the lead singer when he finalizes (sic) that the giant hoops in his ear lobes aren’t cool on an old man and he needs plastic surgery to correct his foolish mistake.”

Well, that’s cool. I’d hate to be this person’s spell check program. :D

So I stay stop all that.

Love, Kindness,

David

SUPER LEGIT Vegan Coconut Macaroons (made in heaven by angels, the recipe whispered into David's ear as he slept.)

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 23:51:04 -0500

That thing I just said about these macaroons isn’t true. Or is it? Make these and they’ll make you…a believer. Super quick, extra easy! Preheat your oven to 350F/178C, and get moving. You’ll be eating these soon. You’ll need:

3 cups of UNSWEETENED medium shredded coconut

3/4 cup flour

1 cup of natural cane sugar.
(for this recipe, I use dehydrated natural cane juice coarse granules found in the indian food aisles and markets that is usually quite cheap!)

1/2 cup of vanilla or original Almond Milk
2 tbsp brown rice syrup

2 tbsp melted Earth Balance spread
*or substitute the same amount of solid coconut cream or oil

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp salt

Combine wet ingredients, sugar and salt. Stir in the coconut, and let it sit for 10 minutes. Slowly stir in the flour until a thick and well mixed dough forms. To ensure it blends well, use a large spatula, wood spoon or good ol’ your hands.
On a greased or parchment lined cookie sheet, pile the dough in a tapered shape with a diameter just over an inch by about an inch and a half or so tall. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until lightly browned on the top and edges. This recipe makes about two dozen, so feel free to octuple it. Let cool and devour.

THE 4th and FINAL portion of HITS and SHITS 2012!

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 19:43:06 -0500

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!

SHARK FIN CAMPAIGN, VANCOUVER ANIMAL DEFENSE LEAGUE. This year, a tireless and thorough effort was made by VADL to eradicate shark fin products by getting it banned at the municipal level, all throughout the lower mainland. So much noise and fervour was made by animal rights CHAMPION Marley Daviduk and the VADL that it only served to Make Richmond MP Alice Wong look super ridiculous when she decided to eat shark fin soup at a chinese media-only public event organized secretly by her staff in Richmond, that addressed only chinese constituents. At the beginning of December, VADL upped the ante when tests of Shark Fin from a restaurant that serves it locally were found to be endangered or protected species in over three quarters of the samples. Aside from the obvious implications of this, the cruelty that these animals are subjected to is horrifying. Live-caught sharks have their dorsal fins sliced off, and are dumped dying back into the sea to succumb slowly on the ocean floor. In 2013, Richmond will still have to address their municipality and vote on a ban of this brutal “delicacy.” This article is just a tiny tidbit of the MASSIVE MOUNTAIN OF PRESS that the VADL got on this issue. The article is filled with other links so you can get every dimension of the story.

http://www.richmondreview.com/news/185313341.html

ASSORTED HITS:

I’m going to call the Kony 2012 video a hit, because it perfectly and tragically sums up how an internet “sensation” can be so intense and so damaging, all at once. The creator of the campaign used video to a highly effective (but not all together true) degree and created a HUGE sensation. However, creating something that big and intense invited an equal amount of scrutiny. Sadly, Jason Russell suffered a mental health break and the movement abruptly halted under leaderless direction, and the realization that simply posting a video doesn’t have the weight and gravity of grassroots protest with physical acts of defiance and civil disobedience. Is Kony actually even alive? What was this video for? Is it a scam to generate money? The “HIT” part of this is actually the clear demonstration of the internet’s power and it’s even greater weakness: being unable to consistently transmute sentiment into action.
Milos Roanic. This Canadian rising tennis star pushed Roger Federer to three sets at the Indian Wells Classic before losing a close one, and continues to win at the professional level against fearsome and tricky opponents. He’s also a canadian tennis star who doesn’t immediately defect to another country. His play is sometimes inconsistent and spotty, but his serve and his double grip backhand return are fearsome. Watch what he does in 2013.
Christine Sinclair: her gutsy, record breaking performance on the field and her pointed but composed remarks at the London Summer Olympic Games was inspiring to women and men alike. When a STUPID call in the semi finals essentially cost the women’s team the game, she responded honestly and correctly that the game had been taken from them, and the the call was a disappointment. This resulted in her being penalized with a 4 game suspension from the world body that has awarded her athlete of the year honours SIX TIMES for speaking the TRUTH about the referee that decided her and team Canada’s fate. Christine Sinclair is a HUGE HIT for speaking the truth, accepting the suspension, and refusing to take back her comments for the sake of appeasing the catankerous world body. More: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/sports/soccer/fifa-hands-soccer-captain-christine-sinclair-four-game-suspension/article4609745/
THIS MOMENT FROM THE U.S. PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION: http://www.romneytaxplan.com/ a brilliant use of media for satire and getting a point across. Sadly, the ENTIRE rest of the election proceedings will find its way into the “SHIT” list later on.

AND ALL OF THESE ASSORTED HITS: Stephen Colbert’s SuperPac series, Fox news having Bill CLinton hand them their ass with a big ol’ smile on his face, The Purple Squirrel/Halloween Goblin Squirrel, Felix Baumgartner’s leap from the edge of space, Season to Attack’s Fibres EP (sorry, I know) Take the Earth Beneath Us, Nice Guys of OKCupid, Worldwide decrease of duck face, Jersey Shore cancellation, Breaking Amish, Dwell Magazine, NewScientist, Drive (the movie) Tattoo Union (Jeremy Riley fixed my fingers and is a damn talented fellow. In the Lee Building at Main and Broadway.) 3G Veggie Restaurant, Vegan Pizza House, Chau Noodle House, Fairy Cakes, Edible Flours.Huge shout out to Axum Ethiopian Restaurant for BEING SO GAWD DAMN DELICIOUS.

..shit… shit… shit…

WINNERS, and others, “FAUX” FUR: In 2012 the VADL also brought to light that again Winners was selling “faux” fur that was still actually made from a REAL animal, most likely the Raccoon Dog, even though they claimed they weren’t. Some of these pieces were also labelled “raccoon,” which is almost certainly not true. Fur trim is often harvested from LIVE animals. These sad creatures are kept in filth, treated poorly, and serves to highlight one of the many repugnant practices that dot the landscape of fashion with immorality and cruelty. If you MUST wear something that resembles fur, it must say “synthetic” or “man made polyester/acrylic trim.” Personally, it is even better in my opinion to not even glorify the look of fur and refuse to wear anything at all that bears a resemblance. When in doubt, do without. I’m also officially calling out Gaga and her fans to let animals be themselves (alive) since they were BORN THAT WAY. Lady Gaga wears tons of cruelty. Beyonce- you too. Want to see what Fur and Fur Trim is really about? Go here and decide if you’d ever like to wear it. I know I am on about animals a fair amount, but seriously…why is this okay with so many?

Miscellaneous SHITS: The Entire US Prez Election for it’s attack on each and every thing EVER. Ben Mulroney’s accent when anything even vaguely french is needing to be said. Ok, I get it, you’re bilingual. Snookie procreating. Kim and Kanye procreating.

Joe Simpson gay scandal. Not because he’s gay, but because of how it all unfolded. Shame. Treat your family better. American Idol. The Summer Olympics in London still obviously catering to the wealthy, the sponsors hawking unhealthy garbage that undermines the integrity and discipline to compete , empty seats, and stupid mascots all on the backs of the poor and passionate amateur athlete who ends up with no choice but to endure this assault on their efforts. Stephen Harper’s stance on First Nation rights, Environmental practices, and the wealthy white echelon.

Enbridge BC Pipeline and its continuous insult to our collective intelligence.

PETA’s 94% and higher kill practice at its own shelters. Help animals. Drop the sensationalism and radical “mercy killing” practices. You aren’t my voice. I wish to see animals alive and free, no matter what their previous circumstances are. If you preach that we don’t have a right to end animal life and enslave them, then neither should you.

Creed, Limp Bizkit and Puddle of Mudd attempting comebacks. The new record.

3 Jewels restaurant- I reluctantly add for serving milk powder to vegans even though we’ve all repeatedly asked to not have it. I will return at some point, but it really angered me. Don’t say your restaurant is vegan. It’s misleading.

Paanz Restaurant for their small portions, poor service, and refusal to address or even acknowledge a respectfully worded customer complaint.

Daily newspapers like Metro and 24 that generate waste and are never edited properly for spelling, grammar or even journalistic ethics. Rihanna. You are a successful and beautiful woman. By refusing to denounce Chris Brown and the terror he inflicted on you and subsequently taking him back, you presented a hypocritical view of what you seem to stand for. Every woman who endures anything like this- kick that stupid ass from your life, and never allow him or her power over you again. Rihanna, I hope it doesn’t have to get worse for you to get better.

Well, that’s it for now. I may post some of the stuff that didn’t quite make it later on. What was you worst and best moments in media, practice, or experience in 2012? What did I miss? What do you agree or disagree with? Did you read all the way to here? You need a hobby. Unless your hobby is reading what I write, in which case, weird, but do it up!

To my family, friends, bandmates, and loved ones who helped make my year accomplished and exciting, I thank you so much. To those that made it more challenging, I thank you very much as well, since I once again didn’t die from it and will become stronger!

Closing the book on 2012,

David Isbister.

HIT and SHITS, part THREE! (last big one tmrw :D)

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 18:14:52 -0500

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!

FOOD and FRIENDS. The many new friends I met this year and learned the stories of, particularly at the Secret Suppers I hosted, as well as those I got to know better just from tossing them a little food! I was MEGA FUN to feed you all, and hear your passions. Landon showed up to almost every one and ate like a boss, and since he already had fabulous taste, he enjoys a few more veg/vegan establishments now. Jamie Ruschienski is a dude I already knew from his work with his twin brother on cancer fundraising, and I loved getting to know him and the group of friends better. Glenn and Joanne came and enjoyed food while I secretly wished I could scurry away and raid their store Nice Shoes for some fine-ass footwear. There are so many to mention, but I enjoyed getting to know Carmen, Susan, Cathryn, Tim, Kim, Darren, Jordan, Lou, and many many more, as well as reconnecting and deepening connections with Andy, my landlords Shaun and Lisa, my neighbours (Riley and Corvis families especially) and my band mate and friend Alan Calimbas. I look forward to feeding you and playing for you all in 2013.

..shit… shit… shit…

CONTINUED, CASUAL USE OF HATE SPEECH. So many people say they are angered by political correctness, and they don’t feel its relevance. Many others loosely toss condemning and words steeped in origins of hatred. To those who doubt a positive effect of respectful language, I ask you to imagine formulating your ideas without the use of marginalizing words. Your argument becomes better, more resolute and necessitates actually thinking it through with more confidence before conveying it.

There are three main words and one practice that I do not love from people, listed below. These aren’t new just in 2012, I just saw tons of it and heard lots of it, and it sucks. Let’s stop it. I’ll even give some new words to replace these outdated terms, or feel free to tell me yours!

Referring to a negative situation or someone’s negative behaviour as “Gay.” Since we are all just humans, looking for progress toward our goals of becoming our natural self, negatively stereotyping someone or something as “gay” is offensive to those of us who have a gay relative who has struggled, those of us who identify as queer, homosexual, (or really anyone in the lgbt community, of which there are MANY) and should be offensive to the rest of any of us that have had any personal struggle at all. All hardship is the same, no matter who is enduring it. To negatively infuse sexuality into an opinion on an everyday practice or inanimate object should be seen as an affront that unfairly portrays certain expressions of love and sexuality as inferior, in my opinion. Try using actual negatives like “lame,” “stupid,” or calling the behaviour exactly what it is: “When he dances, he looks very free and flamboyant!” Or - “When this guy working in my department goes around me to the other manager to complain, I get super pissed. He is so passive aggressive!” That’s just stating an opinion. When you do this in a way that is conscientious, people must address your issue and not your lame, silly way of stating your disapproval.

Negatively referring to Males with “female” terminology, referring to cowardly or weak behaviour as “bitch,” “pussy,” or “girly. ” This one especially bugs me, because I have a mother, a step mother, a sister, and a whole family of female relatives who have endured many physical and emotional struggles, and I don’t think any of them are weak. I don’t think their having a vagina or even just identifying as a woman makes them inferior, and I don’t think that of any other women either. To say that a male is a “pussy” because he is less a gender stereotype than he should be, or to dismiss or diminish someone’s efforts with marginalizing terms of gender is essentially saying, “When you do something that offends my narrow view of gender and sexuality, I will reveal even further that my wordview is antiquated and resonates with misogyny.” Alternatives to this usage is easy. Same as number one. Just state what you feel and how you percieve the person’s behaviour: “When Manny wouldn’t take the tackle and instead went down easy, I felt like he wasn’t willing to make a sacrifice for the team. I play hard and believe in us, and believe that it takes a sacrifice to be an effective competitor. I think we should say this to him straight up.” Or: “Dude, quit being a jerk. You’ve been nagging me about something I can’t do anything about.”
Referring to daft or disagreeable behaviour or any individual as “retarded.” In my job as a Support Worker, I am happy to hear that the community all around support and the individual have stopped using that word except when clinically describing clinical aspects of mental retardation without the client present. But I still hear tons of upsetting usage of this word. I could tell you all about experiences I have had with my own clients and how language can affect them, but I will instead urge you to read THIS open letter from an amazing man with Down’s Syndrome to SUPERASSHOLE Ann Coulter after she described President Obama as a “retard” after Romney beat him in the first debate. Please read it. Ms. Coulter gets owned.
SLUT SHAMING: Honestly, friends, who cares. I’ve had sexual partners. Likely you have as well. If a lady has a healthy sexuality, or is downright horny, can you tell me how this differs from you? Have you never had desire, or felt physical urges? Maybe YOU’RE the weirdo. People go out, meet, and they have sex. You’ve tried to, or have, or will. Almost all of you. So shut up. Who cares. People not “giving any fucks” because Amanda Todd had been sexually active, people judging women interested in sexuality as sluts, painting queer/bisexual/pansexual women as “chicks who’d fuck anything,” - it’s all so wooden, and old. We are sexual beings. Some of us more than others. Stop being jealous and go responsibly get yours, or whatever you want. AND. I have no alternative language suggestions here. Stop commenting on it or even making it a thing unless you are willing to have your sexual ethics examined as well. Who even cares what anybody does with their genitals anyway. None of your business. READ A POETIC RANT ABOUT IT INSTEAD.

Tomorrow, the largest chunk with all sorts of miscellany. It will be heavy at the beginning, light as all get up toward the end. Today is just to remind us all to stop trolling and start living in the real world. Inject kindness!

David

HITS and SHITS, part 2!

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 19:20:47 -0500

Hey there, David Isbister here. Every year’s end, I put together a bunch of things that inspired me, repulsed me, caused me to smile, or aggravated me. I call it THE HITS AND SHITS LIST. Hits are good. Shits are bad. Wherever possible, I will include links to further reading and vids so you can check it for yourself. This year’s is lengthy, so I shall present it to you in healthy chunks that are easy to chew. With your mind. MIND CHEW. Once all of the CHUNKS have been MIND CHEWED, I’ll put the entire giant list up, so your MIND can CHEW it in a new context. Now that you are familiar with the premise, here is today’s CHUNK:

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!
MERCY FOR ANIMALS, and their expose of Canadian pork industries. It goes without saying that I would rather there was never any reason to investigate or secretly record the pork industry, ( or perhaps the fantasy that it not exist at all) so really this HIT is in response to a whole lot of SHIT.

A huge hit; deserving of much commendation to Mercy For Animals for their dedicated and tireless efforts in obtaining footage of the pork industry in Canada. How this highly subsidized and non-sustainable industry operates in Canada should be of strong public interest, and this proved that the industry’s archaic guidelines allow for systemic cruelty and lowered standards of safety. Credit is also due to CTV’s W5 for airing an adequately comprehensive account of this abuse and standing behind the footage.

Originally, the pork industry issued statements agreeing that the video depicts “standard practices and procedures that are within acceptable limits of the law.” This statement was in direct reference to the body slamming of piglets to “humanely euthanize” them, (left “humanely” to twitch and die slowly on the floor, or heaped into a shopping cart of other dead and dying piglets), the practice of castrating male piglets without any pain relief or precautions past restraining the animal, and the the use of farrowing crates which have been recognized in the UK and most of Europe as unnecessary, cruel, and posing health risks to animal and human. Now other pork boards like that of Ontario have been forced to take a stance that seems cautiously in favour of improved methods, or at least flowering up the language to dodge the heat. Other regulatory bodies like provincial veterinary councils are involved in reviewing and investigating, and even if some changes occur, they will likely not address the true costs of subsidizing this industry to seem even break with today’s feed prices and consumer desires. Ten pounds of plant based feed is necessary to produce just one pound of pork… Is that sustainable? Is the way we treat domestic barn animals ok? Watch and see what you think. But a warning - it’s real, graphic, and intense.

view the footage here

…shit… shit… shit…

THE GREATER VANCOUVER ZOO. I have been constantly vocal about my opposition to this piece of crap tourist trap. This year, I am ESPECIALLY incensed with them because of the THREE DEAD GIRAFFES IN ONE YEAR. But the zoo has long been a tumultuous and controversy-addled facility. Their arrogant keeping of desert species in a northern climate through warnings to stop for the sake of the animals, their stubborn rejection that they are ever to blame for these happenings- it makes me ill. Instead of babbling on here, please read my timeline of (Aldergrove) zoo incidents I have unhappily compiled over the years, and BOYCOTT THE ZOO.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/david-isbister/a-history-of-the-aldergrove-game-farmgreater-vancouver-zoo-and-why-it-is-a-terri/10151305816663760

(and the Vancouver Aquarium too.)

Various Music, TV, Mainstream Media
(Local music mentions, and News/Election media in the next installment)

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!
MUSE, The Second Law: I am slightly cautious in calling this record a hit. A fair departure for the band, the record still showcases many of the elements Muse fans would be familiar with, but newer elements and nods to other modern influences punctuate this record with colour. Certain moments are a bit over the top, a bit awkward in a way, but it seems like Matthew Bellamy and company are still glorious, gifted musicians, but making some initial attempts at moving away from their bread and butter sound, and seeking some new territory.

GOTYE, Bronte: We all know the ubiquitous hit “Somebody I Used to Know,” but Gotye’s song about his dog is touching, bittersweet, and beautiful. This is the track in my opinion that is the true gem, with a super cute video. CHECK IT OUT.

OTHER AWESOME MUSIC IN 2012:

Serj Tankian, Harakiri.

Fiona Apple, The Idler Wheel…

Beach Boys, That’s Why God Made the Radio

Dwight Yoakam, A Heart Like Mine

Marilyn Manson, No Reflection (and don’t hate. He has brought back much of the delivery and feel of Mechanical Animals, and much of the record hearkens to Antichrist Superstar as well. Lots of the “star making” sound from his early days. If you like that, you’ll like this record.)

THE JEFF PROBST SHOW: I am not one for daytime TV (even though fiery judge Marilyn Milian has made an appearance in the HITS section in a previous year) but I just can’t help liking Jeff Probst’s show. His chipper doofiness mixed with his ability to ask what the average person is thinking makes his show a decent view, even though some of the subject matter seems to be reaching as he struggles as a newcomer to attract bigger name guests and find hot button topics. His “Guys on the Couch” segment, and his “Ambush Adventure” challenges show a direction and thoughtfulness not present in the usual drivel of Daytime TV. To be balanced, a few of his shows have been awful, with Jeff meandering through unfamiliar subject matter. These moments always are tempered by his forced smile and deferral to his wife who works on the show. And can I be honest? There are always cut shots to women in the studio audience who are FEROCIOUS HOT. Handsome fellas too! Check it out. If you like him on Survivor, you’ll like his take on the everyman interviewer.

OTHER TV HITS: Whale Wars, American Pickers, The Voice.

GUILTY PLEASURE: American Restorations, Storage Wars

…shit… shit… shit…

HONEY BOO BOO. When Jersey Shore and its stupid monoliths of douchebaggery shuffled from the airwaves, many of us must have breathed a collective sigh of relief, thinking that we’d stop hearing about stupid incessant bullshit that had no bearing, importance, or relevance to any REAL THING AT ALL. Sadly, a pint sized child beauty pageant contestant would come and prove us all capable of really so much less.

There are many reasons why this show is TOTAL SHIT. First, lavishing fame and an abundance of attention on a child that rewards and glorifies her mother’s obviously terrible choices shows more of the tragic, desperate, clamourous, and self-obsession we aspire to reach repeatedly in North America. Fame is valued even over an unhealthy child’s life. She has hilarious catch phrases, so it’s okay to be voyeurs in her inevitable journey to a troubled adulthood. Right? She is trashy, seems to be from a less educated background, and is alarmingly naive. This is a reason to watch in captivated horror as we all collectively feel better about our own plight. Right?

ALL OF THESE ARE ALSO TV SHITS: Swamp Hunters, Duck Dynasty, Hog Hunters, and all of the other shows featuring lowlife idiots killing or hunting something and scripting the most inane, intelligence insulting crap they can dredge up.

MUSIC: Other than MOST OF ALL MUSIC, haha- I was disappointed with the new Ben Folds Five record, especially since it had been so painfully long. The record sounded like them, somewhat, and had plenty of nerdy cool moments, but seemed to lack the indie tooth it used to bite with.

**********

Part 3 tomorrow! Happy New Year!

HITS and SH*TS, part one! by David Isbister.

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 22:42:46 -0500

Hey there, David Isbister here. Every year’s end, I put together a bunch of things that inspired me, repulsed me, caused me to smile, or aggravated me. I call it THE HITS AND SHITS LIST. Hits are good. Shits are bad. Wherever possible, I will include links to further reading and vids so you can check it for yourself. This year’s is lengthy, so I shall present it to you in healthy chunks that are easy to chew. With your mind. MIND CHEW. Once all of the CHUNKS have been MIND CHEWED, I’ll put the entire giant list up, so your MIND can CHEW it in a new context. Now that you are familiar with the premise, here is today’s CHUNK- nice and easy reading to start:

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!

NHL LOCKOUT. Now before you go lambasting me, read both sides of my feelings on this. This year, since summer, I have been quite productive, putting together music projects and merch stuff for Season To Attack, cooking secret suppers, pickling, canning, preserving foods, making soap, and keeping ahead of my convenience and consumer cravings with good hard work at home. Thanks kindly to the NHL not playing and having no progress in coming to an agreement, I have slowly become less focussed on the soap opera on ice, and replaced the obsession and focus I have had for the Canucks for so many years with other things that actually end up being more rewarding and more productive. It’s too bad, because without this lockout, I would have never even attempted to get even more busy than I was. I would have never even known if these fellas could just find a way to PLAY A GAME FOR A DAMN LIVING.

…shit… shit… shit…

NHL LOCKOUT. Seriously guys. You’re killing me. Bettman is a snivelling, stubborn little troll of a man, Fehr just wants to stick it to them and can’t see past RAGE, and I can’t understand what the point of grinding and grinding over a few percent is. These guys all have been enamoured with the sport somehow (I hope) and that is the awesome thing here- they are all working in sports whether playing or on the business side.

To the players- this is what many of the fans are pleading: I have watched you all my life, living in a land where your sport is an honoured cultural tradition. I have spoke the name of Captain Kirk, Trevor Linden, The Great One, and so many other colorful others at the same time I spoke of heroes. This is bullshit. You are making millions, and I know the natural argument is that you worked all your life to get there, but remember the journey. Gretzky, Lemieux, Yzerman, Linden- they all built great wealth and recieved so many oppurtunities to continue to display their love for winning and hockey after they were done playing. But nothing quite beats their playing days, they seem to say. Not only is there no money to make if you aren’t playing- there are no accomplishments up for grabs to display your love of hockey, your competive nature, and hell- your superiority that you know you want to blow people’s minds with. You need us, we need you, but it seems like both of us can live without each other if we have to. If that becomes a proven habit, it only will hurt you. We’ll find something else. Play for glory, for pride, for passion, for country, for friendship and the team first with a focus on money perhaps as an important penultimate reason. You are wasting a gift, losing your way as passionate athletes, and alienating the very and only people who support your grand aspirations and imbue them with any relevance.

PLAY HOCKEY. I’m up to ears in music, preserved food, soap and rad band merch, and whatever else is going on in my life. I could use a distraction and I have support to give after all this accomplishment I’ve had, in part to forget you. HAHA!

HIT!! HIT!! HIT!!

ANCHORMAN, STAR TREK: I nearly died of pants-shitting when I saw Ron Burgundy himself on Conan announce that the legend would continue. Anchorman’s sequel featuring the entire returning cast is going to be released on December 20th, 2013, and I am pretty sure I am going to sleep overnight at a theatre shouting, “Maybe don’t wear a bra next time..” at anyone I see. And then see the movie. A few times. So yeah. Safe to say I am pretty stoked. Check this for a lark!

In the interest of looking less like a giant, lame nerd, I put Star Trek second. Even as I type this, my fingers tremble as they seek to regain their liberation from this enforced composure I am applying to them- HOLY F*CK I AM SO STOKED TO SEE THE NEW MOVIE HOLLLLY FUUUUUUUUU- sorry, sorry. Lost it there for a second. You’d really think I’d just go back and delete that. So sure- I’d say the new Star Trek looks pretty rad. Click and totally squeal and pee and die inside and thrash all around on the floor with anticipation if you want. Not that I did. I know some of you are like that. Not me though, so…

…shit… shit… shit…

NINJA TURTLES: I heard about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Then I heard it was going to be changed up- the blessed quatro (or double duo, if in reference to the arcade classic :D) - are now portrayed as SPACE ALIENS. Given that I don’t like things that make NO SENSE AT ALL, I put it on the shit list. No links for you too look at. That’s it. Just…no. Just no. Hashtag eff that. Right kids?

******

A very sincere HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all from all of us in Season To Attack. Part 2 is coming first thing next year! some of this is going to be more intense than today’s portion, but it’s party time, so go live your life. You can show us How To Burn One Night!

David.

Just Let Me Can you love me? Maybe you’ll just hate me. It’d...

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 00:00:00 -0500

Just Let Me

Can you love me? Maybe you’ll just hate me.

It’d be better if you could see all of the thoughts that are running through my mind.

You stopped me like traffic on a main street; I couldn’t move my damn feet,

You know that you get me every time.

And you know that I got everything that they’re not

So come on back and see me, you never know just what we might find.

But if I stand and fight by slowly biding my time , you might want it, and you can have it!

You don’t know just how hard you’d come,

So I hope that I can one day show you

How I’d make you a most willing victim

(and still I’d be the hero that would always come through)

All of these thoughts impure or not-

You would never feel this hot again.

Am I something? Maybe you’ll think I’m nothing.

It’d better if the one thing that I could get from you

Was a little more of your time

You couldn’t stop me from giving you all that you need

So come on in and don’t tease

You know that we have plenty of time

Now let me get a little dirty for the sake of a rhyme-

I want to pin you to the floor and make your eyes go wide.

You’re shaking and you shudder as I slide inside

And now I can see you like it.

You don’t know just how hard you’d come,

So I hope that I can one day show you

How I’d make you a most willing victim

(and still I’d be the hero that would always come through)

All of these thoughts impure or not-

You would never feel this hot again.

She crossed my path, I opened my eyes,

Made that sweet thing laugh and to my surprise

She knew that it wasn’t a game…

The taste of her sex, I feel her breath on my chest, my hands clasped ‘round her neck,

She’s moaning and wet, I wanna know all the same

Was it the way I walked? Was it the way I talked? This flea market shit I bought?

Or did you love it when I said

That you don’t know just how hard you’d come,

So I hope that I can one day show you

How I’d make you a most willing victim.

(and still I’d be the hero that would always come through)

All of these thoughts impure or not-

You would never feel this hot again.

How To Burn One Night Wait a minute, are you all seeing this...

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 12:01:57 -0500

How To Burn One Night

Wait a minute, are you all seeing this time just passing by?

Seems like we’d all have to be some sort of superhuman or being just to get some to hold onto.

Dancing wildly, we protest against the spinning of the earth:

Increasing in speed, we feed on the need to decide what time is worth!

If we could die when we want to,

Then everyone that longs to make their mark on immortality would say,

” What do we care? We got the rest of the weekend, it doesn’t matter either way!”

Stop the clock, wind back your watch, if you feel your time slip by!

Seems like it’s so hard to be all these young impressionable things looking for someone to hold onto.

Pointing to the sky, we yell and swell against the rising of the sun:

Increasing in depth, we’d take our final breath- just to shout that we have won!

If we could die when we want to,

Then everyone that longs to make their mark on immortality would say,

“Oh, what do we care? We got the rest of the weekend, it doesn’t matter either way!”

If we could say when it’s over as we are getting older,

To keep pace with reality, we’d say,

“what do we care, if it’s our final weekend, it doesn’t matter either way!”

When we’re cold on the outside, the hands on the dial become tied.

Warm it up and look inside.

The feeling awakes and we don’t mind crashing here together to outrun time.

If we could die when we want to,

Then everyone that longs to make their mark on immortality would say,

“Oh, what do we care? We got the rest of the weekend, it doesn’t matter either way!”

If we could say when it’s over as we are getting older,

To keep pace with reality, we’d say,

“what do we care, if it’s our final weekend, it doesn’t matter either way!”

Exactly How We Remember.

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 23:38:10 -0400

How our love added the weight of joy to our heels

Just in walking toward each other!

Nimble. Dexterous, winged, and fit with a gilded spring-

We ground diamonds in our laps with desperate glee and enchantment.

My Sweet Eternal, we had long been dead, reanimating ages of destruction and holding onto each phase of our lovelorn lifeless bodies- and offered it tattered and vulnerable to one another.

Slowly the most welcome isolation collects us.

We return to the womb. We lie down in a tomb.

We hold each other. We spoon.

There’s more to sorrow than we would have ever imagined.

The sun seems to set on those who are who are impassioned to awkwardly bray their anxious devotion.

Some other force is always waiting to collect us, and there is more to planning tomorrow than we could have ever imagined.

Like moss creeping over cement, the earth comes to reclaim us season by season.

Make haste, my most ethereal Love.

Let youthful feet in heavenly flight carry our infused nimbus of energy smashing unapologetically into a meteor shower of sparks and light!

Mercy is a gift that can span any rift but we must never stop running.

How our love added the easement of comfort to our eventual deaths, read the storied ending.

How the night welcomed us back for eternity, stroking our backs.
How the universe congratulated us for grasping onto one another until we were only a shivering rack of bone and a reminder of the grave and inevitable.

Oh, how we were always as we were on this very day,

Where love added the weight of joy in our step

Just in walking toward each other.

"Like Some Chick On Her Rag" - a poem

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 20:56:08 -0400

What I truly hate is hatred

Spoken by men who can leave women and their children to wither

Uttering words that are said to be sacred

Rubbing themselves raw as they rush to get naked

What I despise the most is the intention

Of the abstinence preachers and the pro life assembly calling on our teachers

To do nothing but spew evangelism and then call that prevention;

Maybe judge a few women and then throw a convention.

Now if my impression is correct -

You need to blend in, stand out, become instantly wet or fully erect

Live free without judgment, unencumbered by regret,

Young, rich, and successful, and without any debt,

Blonde is ideal, but they’d take a brunette.

(White and lightly religious would sure be the best)

Your sex life should be varied and liberated.

But if it is, you are a dirty little slut and you will be berated.

Or- you are a young man with prowess who should be celebrated.

If you are currently famous, it is acceptable to live for your art

If you aren’t famous, then nothing you do is truly from the heart.

Once famous, you must strive to be real.

You must create content to trivialize where you stand and to easily relate how you feel.

This sells advertising, so be careful who you align yourself with and what you reveal.

The brands that you represent are paying your bills.

What I despise most is to witness a strong voice relent

In the face of rape apologists lost in time and right wing zealots living like petty bucolic swine

Who would damn your behaviour and demand you repent

When the only timely issue is if there was will and consent

What I truly resent is the entitled feeling

That people addled with social disease got there by being lesser entities

And that no one stares up at a impenetrable and arrogant ceiling

Of course those above them don’t use drugs, buy sex, or wear clothes too revealing

Or use the plight of the poor to make gains worth concealing

So what I’d really like is the cessation

Of our need to engage in slut shaming, sermonizing and callousness

To quit wallowing in the filth of lurid degradation

Along side the profane and the sacred

Because the only thing I hate more than all of that

Is hatred.

DUMP CAKE - a cake of many possibilities and great ease

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 23:26:14 -0400

Ok, so dump cake is all about making a quick dump in a bowl. Sorry, I said that wrong. It’s about making a cake just by dumping a bunch of stuff in a bowl. This is the white trash method, so you know it’s good.

First, find an organic cake mix free of Dairy. President’s Choice Organic Chocolate Cake mix is what is used here. Follow the very directions they give you on the box for greasing a cake pan, parchment paper, preheat your oven, yadda yadda. Instead of the eggs, use egg replacer. Instead of milk, use rice dream original or some other nice vegan milk. mix it up.

Now, I am making this cake quick, so I just dumped it into a 9x13 pyrex rectangular dish to make a long flat cake. Since I want delicious cake and I could give two shits how perfect it is in the end, I am just going to cut in in half after its cool. While it is baking take a complimentary fruit and make a filling. Here I used local cherries, pitted. I had about two cups of them. Put them in a pot on medium heat and add 1/4 cup of sugar, 1 tsp of tapioca starch and a couple of tbsp water. Stir and lightly mash the fruit, simmering on medium heat and stirring for I dunno - let’s say 5 minutes ish. Once it thickens from the tapioca, you are good. Set aside and let it cool. Make some icing, or buy some betty crocker ones that are dairy free. Here I used half Earth Balance Buttery Spread , half earth balance buttery sticks, organic icing sugar, and raw vanilla. find any frosting recipe and sub out the shit we don’t eat with that stuff that we do. I’m not your dad, just look up ANY RECIPE. :) You will need to end up with 3 - 4 cups of frosting. Who are we kidding? Make 6 cups, because you know you are gonna be eating that off your scrote, ladies and gents. You know it.

Take your cooled cake slab and cut it in half, through the middle, to make to identical pieces. Move one half to a cake plate or a cinder block or whatever you got. Just dump it on something. This is cake to eat with your face, not delicate and pretty cake to stare at and waste. Yes, that rhyme was intended. Pick it up, your cake isn’t sloppy enough. Frost one side, pour on the cooled fruit filling, reserving a bit to pour over the top after you frost that sucka. Take the other half and dump it on top, making a diabetic coma of a cake sandwich. Take the rest of that frosting, and dump it on that cakey harlot, sealing in the sweet fruit goodness from above. Because you are probably stoned out of your gourd and already can’t remember what rad fruit is in there, dump the rest of the fruit filling over the top of the frosted cake, add sprinkles or whatever sparkly decoration you have to look at in your poo tomorrow, and refrigerate this for an hour or so.

Pictured here is chocolate cake innards with stewed vanilla cherry guts and “cream cheese” icing marrow, covered in a soft exoskeleton of vanilla cherry frosting and growing chocolate sprinkles from it’s delicious flesh.

Dump some on your plate, and then dump it down your face.

A Day That We Covet

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 18:45:42 -0400

When your softest eon of light stretches its way around the earth

To meet me as I claw toward you, digging in the dirt

The silent and repressed summer will present itself once again.

Sleep will be attained from being settled upon the gasping framework of a taut and malleable structure of a lover and a friend.

When you return to stand before me, shuddering and sweet

I will lift my arms toward the heavens.

A trapezoid of collarbone and jaw will leave us macerated by a surfeit of ardor and awe.

When your staccato whisper and pleading works its way back to the threshold of my ear

To make the soft white hairs stand at attention so I can hear

Time is exonerated from surging past us without a sympathetic glance.

We will be sustained as the enmeshing of our colours and flesh make us hesitant to feel time’s attempt to advance.

When you return to stand before me, an enchanted woman on the street,

I will lift you and place you greedily about my torso.

Murmurs and controlled collisions

As we forget the length and severity of our self imposed division.

CREAMY. SPICY. SAVOURY. Dip trio, suckas! (vegan recipe)

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 22:13:00 -0400

Pictured here: Olive tapenade, Creamy Cauliflower, Spinach and Mozza Dip, and fiery sweet enhancing sauce. See previous recipe for olive tapenade. Served with dehydrated smoked carrot crackers, blue and red corn tortilla chips, and raw kohlrabi triangles.

Creamy Cauliflower Spinach and Mozza Dip:

(serves 4-6)

You’ll need:

2 tbsp olive oil

1 Medium white or yellow onion, diced small

2 large cloves of finely grated garlic

1/4 cup each of fresh basil and dill, minced

1 tbsp of fresh rosemary

1/2 tsp celery seed

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp sage

fresh cracked pepper to taste

1 tbsp tamari

1 tsp lemon zest, lemon juice set aside.

2 tbsp tahini

1.5 - 2 cups frozen or lightly steamed spinach

Head of Cauliflower, boiled and mashed

8 ounces of Daiya mozzarella style cheese (1 bag)

1/2 cup original veganaise

1/4 - 1/2 cup of coconut or cashew cream

salt to taste, if necessary

SO. Take the oil, and start a medium sauce pan on medium heat. Saute the onions with the celery seed until soft on the edges and nearly clear right through the center. Once nearing fully cooked, add the garlic, herbs, and dry spices. Don’t cry, pansies, it’s just some onions. Once the onions saute together with the spices and thicken, add the lemon juice, tamari, and spinach. This is going to already taste like the tip of the sweetest dong you ever…sampled? - but! There’s a bit more to do to coax the flavour further out of this raging dip dong. Wow, I am really running on that premise there.

On low heat, stir in the mayo and cheese until the cheese melts and everything blends together nicely. Add coconut or cashew cream to deepen the creaminess and salt to taste until it looks like a good dip-like consistency, like a thick pea soup. I don’t know what viscosity you like your dip, ok? Just figure it out, clown puncher. Serve warm with tortilla chips or in a sourdough bowl. Or nude, freshly waxed abdomen. However you like it. NEXT!

Sweet and Fiery Like a Total Hottie Sauce

serves 4-6

Mix together the following:

1 ounce chilli paste, or even a commercial hot sauce

3 ounces agave nectar

1/2 inch of fresh grated ginger

pinch of chilli flakes

1tbsp of grated carrot

1 small clove of garlic, minced

pinch of orange or grapefruit zest

1 tsp black sesame seeds

salt/pepper to taste

Tell everyone to use this super sparingly- as this is just to accent the flavours and add pleasant and tasty heat, just like I get from your momma who is so fine. Just mix it together and serve in a small dish.

Adages

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 15:38:00 -0400

Linger with me here for just a little
While away the time
Is on our side
by side

Connected in the mind
Over matters
Not and is all in all
Who sees
The glass as half empty
hearts and souls

In all honesty
Is the best policy when
You’re sliding, the whole word slides with you
Forever and always
remember

To stop and smell the war of the roses

When there is no such thing as cannot
See the forest through the trees

trees, trees - shade, shade
Linger here with me for just a little
while away the time.

STAttoos - Brian Badd

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:46:33 -0400

My Tattoo represents some of the classic designs and styles I like. It is a new old school piece consisting of dice, roses, hearts, skulls, and my favorite- a WWII bomb on my elbow. It was designed by Albert Caine from Black & Blue Tattoo and was compliments of a sponsorship I had with the company. The tattoo is a collage of some of my favourite classic designs and represents the flash style of art
as opposed to a scaled peice. Rather than draw something in advance on paper and stencil it, Albert freehanded the artwork directly on the arm, allowing for more freedom within the design. The tattoo is largely unfinished still and there is much more colouring to be done but it still is one of my favorites!

In Vain

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 02:43:52 -0400

Sometimes I feel as though

I am a star in a distant galaxy

That you are unable to perceive

Until my faintest of lights hits you square in the face

An eon too late.

Sunglasses and Hats

Fri, 25 May 2012 00:41:17 -0400

Sunglasses and Hats

A Modern Usage of Commodity

Mon, 21 May 2012 16:54:31 -0400

A Modern Usage of a Commodity

If you are gorgeous

If you are pretty

If we turn to look at how shapely you are,

Then you will be corrupted if you are porous.

You cannot trust all of those who feel they must jilt you

If you are lithe and cute, then they have to have you

Like a song on the radio they can’t get enough of

Until you are overplayed, you are turned off, and you grow cold.

Any warmth in comparison

Only leaves you scared of being burnt.

If you are a youthful god-

If you resonate the longing of despair and jealousy

Then the chances are that someone waits sorrowfully in silence

Who’s loved you all along and has to watch you

Slowly fade as you become progressively more frightened

Of being beautiful.

When She Sleeps Beneath The Night, I Cannot.

Sat, 19 May 2012 15:01:39 -0400

My body creaks and whispers her name in the disjointed slumber

That I fight to satiate the need for-

Stillness she carries in the small strong touch

Of her lithe frame nestled lightly in brass light, folded into dark sheets next to me

I fight to grasp her like she is sleep - so welcome and so fleeting

Smoke through fingers, a caressing warmth

Or a zealot worshipping at the pristine feet of a spark-eyed woman

Her name is still the utterance on the tip of my tongues.

My arms to constrict the wild beating of her heart

Are tangled through her limbs as our veins form a living trellis

As I pray to a meandering deity that she can feel the blasting pressure

Of my desire to tell her that her body is not enough, I have to treat her rough

That she kills me and resuscitates me with her gasps

That her confusion and wonder at me is not from a broken fragility

But instead is accidentally wrought of our original reluctance

To say she moved when I moved and we moved each other

Is too bold for words that destroy us and yet we fear one another

So oddly and so compellingly

My body begs me to speak her name and materialize her from vapour

So that silken smoke in licks and curls

With the unknowing matters of urgency from boys and girls

Could be exhaled through the cool night air

Past the living trellis of our limbs and bones and veins and heavy sighs and worry

That I fight to satiate the need for